My ghost problem is pretty much the only thing in my life that I can’t handle alone. Ironically, it’s the only thing that other people won’t help me with.

They tell me that I’m being silly, that I’ll be alright.

But I’m not being silly. 

I believed for a while that I was alright, and once I let my guard down the ghost tried to attack me.

Nothing anyone can say will make me feel safe.

Telling me that I’ll be alright won’t make things alright.

The only thing that anyone can do to help me is just to be there for me so that I don’t have to sleep alone.

My sister was out with her boyfriend yesterday and my mom was already sleeping with my dad and I didn’t want to wake her up so I called Matt.

I asked him just to stay on the phone with me for 20 minutes so I wouldn’t feel alone and I could fall asleep with him there.

He stayed, but he sounded annoyed and told me that I had nothing to worry about.

I was able to fall asleep, but I woke up at 8 am and cried for awhile because I don’t ask for help often. If I ever ask for help it’s because I really need it. Last night I was really scared. I thought that since he’s my boyfriend he wouldn’t mind. But it seemed like he did.

If he gets annoyed with me asking him to stay on the phone with me for 20 stupid minutes because I’m too afraid to fall asleep, how can I ask him to be there for me when I really need him with other things?

*sigh*

I rarely tell people what I really feel or what I’m afraid of because so far when I tell people the truth, they tell me that I’m being silly, or I realized that no matter what, they won’t understand and will just dismiss what I’m trying to tell them.

So far it seems that the only person I can really trust is my mom.

Awesome. Hooray for being alone.